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Ian: I would like to help.
Use your featherie, Gutta-Percha, and rubber-core,
And don’t buy NXT’s at the store.
Take your niblick, mashie, brassie and spoon
And send all NXT’s to the moon.
Technology is bad for the game
So dump all the NXT’s down the drain.
Old Tom Morris would never tee
One of those nasty long NXT’s.
Stop the NXT!
Stop the NXT!
I dug a large hole in my backyard and told the neighbors it was for a swimming pool. I am ready to take a truckload of NXT’s out of circulation and dump them in the hole.
Gerry - Endwell, NY
PARD
(Players Against Radical Distance)
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Hear hear!
MR IAN MACALLISTER:
I am honered to have such a distinguished gentleman as yourself respond to my poem.
Our Mission Statement at PARD (players against radical distance):
To stop golfers with little skill from getting better with golf ruining technology. Golf was intended to require hard work and years of practice to perfect this glorious game.
We of course would waive the initiation process for you, but let me describe it.
We require all new potential members go buy 5 dozen of the disgustingly long and straight NXT’s. Then on each Saturday at dawn we meet at our local links course and proceed to the deepest pond. Then one by one we dispose of the NXT’s. Some of the weaker golfers break down and yell ” I need my NXT’s to score well” and run away.
Well I sure don’t need people like that . Good Riddens! I yell back “You need skill to be good at golf not Technology”.
Ian you have also read my mind about holding a World Wide International Summit in Scotland. We could call it WGT I (Wipeout Golf Technology). The sooner the better. This technology has to be squashed now!
Ian I am getting very upset. I need to go out to my backyard and throw 5 more dozen NXT’s in the hole. excuse me.
Ok I feel better now.
Ian a man of your beliefs, which I have witnessed on your excellent blog, is exactly who we need on our Board. And it goes without saying, your mouth wateringTartan plaid jacket is waiting for you. The best money can buy.
Please let me know about being on the Board. Together we can conquer.
Long Live the True Scottish Game of Golf
Gerry
President of PARD
Ian: You are cordially invited to be on the Board of Directors for PARD (players against radical distance). More Info To Come.
Gerry
President of PARD
I am not familiar with this PARD organization but perhaps we should arrange a worldwide international summit in Scotland to share ideas on eliminating the NXT’s and returning the game of golf to its glorious past. As with all reputable golf organizations, I assume you have a lengthy application and grueling initiation process as well as a uniquely authentic Scottish tartan blazer that causes men and women to weep in envy. Once I learn more of your esteemed organization, I would be honored to sit on your Board of Directors.
Cheers,
Ian