Greetings, all.

I recently received two pieces of electronic mail (or “e-mail”) from golf traditionalist and NXT-loather Brian Hill. Brian took the time and effort to express his opposition to the NXT in verse. These heartfelt entries capture the true spirit of our mission at GDAD. I hope they touch you as much as they did me.

Brian’s contributions have come at a fortuitous time, because they arrive just as I can announce a great coup for our cause! I recently came into possession of a Titleist delivery truck, stuffed to the gills with new NXT Tour and NXT Extreme golf balls. We must not let these despicable balls see the light of fairways and greens. I need your help to “relocate” these cheater balls and I’ve come up with a way. By demonstrating your commitment through creative submissions like Brian’s, you will prove yourself worthy to help rid me of this gargantuan supply of NXT’s. Please visit the following Upload Page for more details and do your part to scatter these NXT’s to the four winds!

Ian

Sonet I by Brian Hill

Titleist has created the “new” NXT
“We’ll kill all old courses!”
They shouted with glee.

The pirates who brought us
these spheres of destruction
Are all over TV
And need no introduction!

New dimples and lines
To some are just fine.
But if you’re using this ball
You have the scruples of swine!

“They’re killing the game!” , Ian exclaimed
Those bloody NXT’s should take all the blame!

So just say no to this dreadful sly ploy
And let not your love of our game be destroyed!

Sonet II by Brian Hill

“I’m hitting NXT” you turn to me and say
“Are you hitting one?” my reply is “Nay!”
So go ahead and hit it
Without conscience nor fear.
You and your ilk are killing this game
That Ian and I hold oh so dear.

You say it will fly
A great distance with ease.
I’ve seen your type
You have a disease!

“I’ll use a mark on the ball
To line up my next putt.”
If Ian were here
He’d put a foot in your butt!

You’re taking a chance
And this is a warning!
The classic old golf courses
We’ll all soon be mourning!

So pick up your ball
With the cute, NXT tag.
Put it where it belongs
Back in your bag!